he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She even gives head with a lisp.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
