Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
