so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
