i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
