i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
