I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
