I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
