Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
