doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
