by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
