census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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