he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
