I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
