just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am naked and annoyed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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