Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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