Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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