Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
they need to just BURY HIM!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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