Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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