i would punch a child for taco bell
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
