okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
