My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
