I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
