He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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