Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
