My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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