It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
