I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
