he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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