Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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