handjob tips. give me some.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
