In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
