Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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