All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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