porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
