I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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