yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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