Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize