I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
