Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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