Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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