Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
