Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
