I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
