party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
