i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
dude. I can hear the air.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
