I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need moral support for this bender
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
