to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I need moral support for this bender
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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