remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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