Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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