Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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