I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize