I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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