How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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