Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I checked into jail on foursquare
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
