1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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