You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
