well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
