white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
