rhymes with "ouble enetration"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Found the puke drawer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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