So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
