You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
