i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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