we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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