before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
