i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
