I think I won the penis lottery.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
