sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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