i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
